So my neighbours are throwing a LAN party, and I pick up on it and decide to head down the road, camp out on their lawn with a glass of wine, and leech their net.

The owner of the house comes out after about fifteen minutes, having realized I was lagging them out. He asks me what the fuck I think I’m doing, to which I reply that I’m fucking challenging them, what does it look like.

He invites me inside to play with them properly. I ask what they’re playing.

“Modern Warfare,” he says.

MODERN WARFARE, HE SAYS

So I get up and run back down the road.